Something somthing

I spent a decade on you! I fell asleep dreaming about what I could do to make this love transcend space and time. I lusted, I fucked and touched the seams of infinity for you. I grew, I changed, in ways that I can't even fathom. Not knowing the cost. Some days, Oh God Some days, I can see the curve of the universe past planets and stars, solar systems, past the petty calculations astrophysicists play with, past galaxies, out there in the ethers. Underneath it all we are making love, Fucking, in an orgy burning candles at both ends. Hoping we don't choke on the fumes and the ash. The thrill of the hunt the kill of that final come. ExPlosions! But Goddamn we're still here!
Touch is a shock, to dream is a horror because I can't remember if the best of me is the villain in the story. I try to hold to truth, but I fail to see the allegory. I see no sense in human analogy. I try to live like everyone else but I get that natural hurricane of life, the whiplash; the enviable step back. So many words to describe my minds eye. So many ways to fail someone else.
But blood pumps, give me death in gallons I still cannot fathom. Die on the sword of microscopic killers. No brain, no thought but to just live. Live: but learning is too dangerous. I wanna keep going on. I want so much to be stronger now, more than II ever was back then.